handstories

Tools for Light

    The table today...  One of Jude's moons, with some of Deb's indigo silk, a rainbow of threads from Tina, works in progress, and all of my scissors.  They are each good at different things.  The black forged pair are able to rip through cloth with a tug, creating rough edges.  Long straight sharp cutting is done by the big heavy shears.  Only a blue speckled ring show of the small embroidery scissors, probably the most used because of their size, comfort and ability to cleanly cut small shapes.  Finally, the snips that are poking out on the right that are good for quick thread cutting and travel.  Good tools make me really happy.

    The dreams have calmed down some, still busy, but without much anxiety.

    Wasn't this morning great?  To not have that holding breath feeling that has especially hung over the last weeks.  To see and hear hope and joy- on faces, in words, songs, and the amazing beautiful poet and poem...

"...For there is always light, if only we're brave enough to see it.

    If only we're brave enough to be it."

-from "The Hill We Climb" by Amanda Gorman, National Youth Poet Laureate

Glittering lights & rats

    There was a wild windstorm night before last.  Rain and twigs pelting the windows.  Just outside the window I sleep under, the tall cedar's  branches whipped around creating a frantic loud dance of shadows across the walls.  Falling asleep took a while, so more of the fairy tale was read...including the part where she was locked in a closet with a rat trying to nest in her hair.

    There was a dream of having to contain two live rats in a skillet, being ordered to cook them for dinner.  I couldn't decide which was worse, having to cook them, or knowing I would have to eat them.

    A friend and I went for a walk downtown, the first time I've spent time since March.  This is Pike Place Market, usually it's shoulder to shoulder crowded.  Now it's mostly empty stalls and shops, with only a few wanderers.

    The twinkle lights all over helped to cheer things.

    Although, not long after this photo, a rat scampered by.

    There was also a stop at the Pine Box Bar, a converted funeral home.

    Seating is outside in the driveway where the hearses used to roll through (including one that held Bruce Lee).  The tables are made from dismantled display coffins.  The lights were lovely, but I'm not sure I'll be going back, just a smidge too creepy for me.

 

Moon medicine

    Filling out a partial ThreadCrumbs moon.  A moon mend.  Once again turning to the gift of threads from Tina for a just right aqua blue.

    There was a dream of being gifted crystals, and another of only having moments to decide what was needed as I left my house forever.

    The ideas of moon- roundness, filling, holding close, silvery, buttery, cool and glowing... fills, mends.

    The tear in K's coat was stitched up and laundry is going.  Small things, as Deb and Liz say.  Manageable.  This moon didn't get very far.  I was distracted by a book that's been read before.  She saves herself, and the others.  A fairy tale.  Another kind of mending for me.

Yesterday & today, inside & out

    Moon by Jude.

Being home

    This happened after a little reading about the Hundertwasserhaus.  It's weird and I want to keep going with it.  Wherever that might be.  No idea yet.  It's about home- a place to be in, and the home that is within.  I suppose much of what I make is.

    There has been a lot of self questioning in the last weeks... What I make and why?  Wondering if there's a next to step into?  And what it might be?

    Can comfortable become uncomfortable?  (The "do not repeat" painting actually has nothing at all to do with what I'm talking about...probably.)

    In the meantime, there are moon cabin squares slowly being made.  Another place to live...inside and out.

 

Wishing you light✨

    A slow cloth started for Solstice, for light, for hope...a gift to myself.  A Threadcrumb moon, and a rainbow of scraps from Jude, Deb and Tina.

    Everything is as made, baked, wrapped, decorated, and decked as it's going to be.  Now it's time for sitting still and snacking on spritz cookies. 

    A Yahrzeit candle has been lit for Dad.  Tomorrow will be two years.

    The three of us will have a quiet day tomorrow, with some zooming with Blue.  There is much to grateful for here in our little blue house.

    Wishing you all peace, comfort and joy.  With love, Hazel 💙

Trees, teeth & singing in saucepans

    Stitched, unstitched and re-stitched during the day of the election.  One of Jude's moons, a piece of Deb's cloth and some of my indigo dying.  Maybe it will become more, maybe a moon cabin quilt?  Maybe.

    The next morning I got up early to go out and say goodbyes to two of our trees.  This cherry out front and the big maple behind the house.  Both were not well, dying, and there was a fear that the maple might fall on the house below, where 95 yr. old Mrs. C. lives.  It was time.

    I wrapped my arms around each of them, saying goodbye and thank you.  One of them wept sap onto my sweatshirt.

    There were more tears at the last moments of the maple.  That square of missing bark is where they cut out Blue's initial for me.  He carved it there the day before he left for college for me to see out of the kitchen window.

    It looks naked.  The Japanese maple was below that front window when we moved in 28 years ago.

    I probably should've written "mourning trees".

    Later that evening, trying to check-out from the events of the week, a crown came off of a tooth, because Friday evenings are the ideal time for teeth issues.  It was taken care of yesterday.
 

    There was also a conversation with Mom, and a need to revise my last post.  I may have yelled, "How am I related to you?!?"  She just laughed.  Sigh.

    Moving on, and hopefully into calmer waters...

    Lastly, our singing group has gone on-line during this quarantine time, and next Monday (November 16th, 7 pm PST), we are having our second virtual concert.  It will be an hour of  silliness and Seattle.  If you would like to see me in a saucepan (and other makeshift costumes), please leave a comment and I will send out an email with the link this weekend.

    Click here for the commercial...

Time in cloth & thoughts

    Beginning with one of Jude's moons, this cloth exploded into being... "Cosmic Crossroads".

    The morning paintings are looking more and more like cloth to me.  There are a few ideas about following this thread.  So many ideas, and even with all of the time in today's world, it still doesn't seem enough.

    Moon and I are home alone for a few days.  Still, with most of his day spent at school in his room, other than meals, I hardly see him.  I'm grateful for the moments of connection when he pops downstairs to share something of interest now and then.

    School is going so much better for him (and us!) than last spring.  There is no blame in that statement.  No one was prepared for what happened and everyone did the best they could, but really, for the most part it was a wash.  This year there are expectations and accountability- class, small group and one on one meetings with teachers and other students. 

    Moon even loves most of his classes- especially theater (we're looking forward to the upcoming online productions they're creating), physics and math.  I've listened to his recently written one-act (death, chess and existentialism), tried to understand the existence of ten dimensions (I got lost in the sixth), and the other night, when he came down distressed, feeling that he and his peers are losing this last year of childhood because of the virus, listened, and tried to offer hope, as he hoped that his passion for math and physics lasts, and that "someday, if I'm lucky, I'll figure out a way for kids not to be afraid of time like I am."  His deep thinking has always amazed me.    (P.S.  My time has been spent with thread (with no idea of which dimension I'm in).  These tokens, "Cosmic Crossroads" and other story cloths will be in the shop tomorrow (Friday, October 14th, 9am PST).  Thank you for taking a look!)

stories for selves

   There's been a bad case of start-itis going on around here, but finally some pieces were finished. 

    Trees, moons, ships, and a still life in pink.  Stories of celebration, wonder, connection, and being there for yourself- the tales I tell myself over and over to carry me through.

    If you're in search of a story too, they're in the shop here, thanks for taking a peek.

steps forward

    Moon had a really good day yesterday (even without a hug from his girlfriend or a car).  Blue joined us via Facetime in singing Happy Birthday over candle lit donuts.  We even did a family selfie with Blue on a phone screen.  A sign of the times.

    The three of us stayed up until midnight eating donuts and watching Moon's choice of a Harry Potter movie (which made me happy to know that he's still just a big kid, in spite of telling us all day long that he's an adult now.)

    I've been absent a lot here and on the internet in general.  Between things that have happened for us, and the nothing of most days, my lack of oomph won out.  Really, we are ok enough, and better off than so many. 

    I'm still feeling storyless, actually, that's not true- yesterday triggered bad memories from my 18th birthday, but I don't want to write about that.

    There has been stitching.  These patchwork pieces keep coming.  They surprise me and I like them.  Onward...