handstories

Home & Hand Stories

"Spells of, from & for Home"

    The road opened back up.  No locusts, hailstones or boils appeared.  Two days of trying to help.  Hard.  Just hard.  Physically, emotionally hard.  Due to covid there is not enough support for him or my mom.  We need to figure out a better plan for them, this is not sustainable.  None of us knows what to do.  I'll probably return at the end of the week, when the plumbers are done here.

    Sitting here in my studio room (with a jackhammer sound coming from the basement), surrounded by things I love, especially these blue walls.  Sitting here stitching this morning, trying to figure out what this overwhelming feeling is?   A kind of homesickness, I think.

    Last week I noticed that I kept putting on more layers.  For cold or comfort, I'm not sure?  At one point there were seven items of clothing, and that was just from the waist up.  Just now I remembered that this was something I used to do as a kid, when things didn't feel safe.

    Mom's husband is mostly resting, sleeping, unaware, but there are moments of connection.  There were three sweet ones... 

    On the first day, giving him a dropper full of medicine that he didn't want.  I was firm, "This needs to happen.  It will help you."  He opened his mouth.  "Thank you, good job!"  He raised his arms up a little, hands about a foot apart, gesturing.  I didn't understand.  He tried to say something, a few times.  I realized it was an echo of how I had said "good job!"  That he was trying to clap.  I gave him his deserved applause, he smiled.

    Knitting across the room from him.  Again, the hands were up, moving in a pattern.  "Braiding," he said.  We "braided" together for a few minutes.

    Just before it was time for me to leave, he began humming, "Swanee River."  I joined in with the few words I knew, made up some, hummed too, and then started "Red River Valley."  He hummed, managed a "valley" here and there, as he waved an arm in conductor-like movements... flowing.

One stitch at a time...

    Well, here we are, another week plus gone by, and a month's worth of things going on.

    Post-Thanksgiving was spent in the basement.  A clog, overflow, old old plumbing to deal with.  After 115 years, it appears that the old clay mainline is preparing to give up the ghost, along with various other issues where it connects with the house.  Two days and several thousand dollars later we were able to wash, flush, etc. again.  It definitely dampened (ha, ha) Moon's first visit home since he left for college.   There is a next, more involved step to take- getting the mainline lined.  Which will mean many many more dollars.  A number so big that I may have swooned a bit when the guy showed it to me.

    We reacted for a couple of days, but we are moving forward now.  Actually, we're putting it all on pause until January.  Trusting that it will all work out.  Somehow.  The last few days have been spent cleaning up the aftermath, a carload to donations, washing and mopping up.  And a lot of stitching- for centering, and for income... to help to pay the piper (pipe-r, get it?!).

    Getting ready for bed last night, K. said something crazy.  I watched him realize how ridiculous his words were midway through his sentence.  It was so silly that I started laughing before he was done.  (He did, too.)  I laughed and laughed, unable to stop.  Gosh, that felt great.

    There are other happenings, too, but there are stories to stitch.

    Onward!

    (P.S. There will be a shop update on Friday, December 3rd, 9am Seattle time.)

New chapters

    I really like looking at all of these together like this... touching and a part of each other's stories.

    (They have all been added to the shop.)

Comforts of home

"The Wonderland of Home"

    Sometimes, while working on a piece, I scribble down thoughts.  "Home, moon, window, making, light, heart, shine, through lines, woven, tending, care... where is home, there is home, home stories, homemaker, maker of home..." were the words that came while stitching this cloth.  There was a lot of joy in the making of this one.

   

    Home has been even more of a comforting space lately.  K and I are settling into new routines now that it's just the two of us again.  Memories of our first fifteen years without kids float around.  There is so much less to do for just the two of us, except the chores.  Although, there is a lot less to clean without two boys coming and going.  We've been divvying up the jobs that first Blue, and now Moon have left behind.  I was embarrassed to discover that I didn't know how to work the vacuum!  In my defense, Blue and Moon have done the weekly vacuuming for the last decade or so, and I do sweep.  Confessing my homemaker deficiency to K, and adding that I hate vacuuming (lugging the contraption from the basement stairs, the noise, the hassle of changing the attachments, etc.), I was thrilled when he said that he enjoyed it!  Hallelujah!  I have willingly taken over the litter box instead.

    And today, a new boat beginning.  I always come back to them.  They're a comfort, too.  A kind of centering and symbol of going.  A reminder of who I am, or might be.

Full days

    "Ruby" for the gem-like feel to it.

    Someday I'm going to find the perfect clear pink glass bowl that lives in my imagination.  Some days it will be empty except for the rosy light glowing inside of it, other times rose petals might float in it, or a few special marbles will roll at the bottom, and once in a while it will be filled with sea water.  Someday.

    What happens when you have five minutes in the bathroom and a pair of scissors...

    It went much better than the last time.  K didn't have to repair any oddly cut angles, and I can roll over in my sleep without getting tangled again.

    Autumn is going full blast this week- wind, rain and dark dark mornings.  I love it, except for the fact that my studio room is cold.  It has the best light, and the worst temperatures- an added on room that holds summer's heat and winter's chills. 

    I've been wrapping myself up in this length of knitting.  A few of you might remember it... Knitted eight to ten years ago from some of my first handspun, over six feet long, and called "Breathing" because of this moment.

    (I do own a shawl pin thingy, but have no idea where it is.)

    And there's been more moon play.  The story changed over and over as I worked on it.  Actually, I guess that the cloth just grew somehow, because all of the stories are still here.  No name yet... still thinking on what words will hold all of the layers.

Friends & playing

"Cara"

        A few trees have sprung up this week, brought to life with Deb's rainbowed scraps and threads.  I do love the surprise of each of them, the not knowing who they are until they're finished.  Once done, I hold them and see what feeling or word comes to mind.  In Cara's case, it was the connection between the tree and star.  There seems to be a conversation, an understanding, a connection... which led to thoughts of friendship.  "Cara" means friend in many languages- Irish, Spanish, Latin...

"Yawen" and "Linnea"

    "Yawen" is a Chinese name meaning cloud patterns.  Do you see the faint cloud line that I followed in blue stitches?  "Linnea" is where I landed after a search for pink names.  It's Scandinavian for a small pink mountain flower.

    I wonder who will show up here?

    A blue moon playground by Tina.   I wasn't sure about my ability to stick with and pull off a tidy stretch of Jude's stacked stitches, but ended up enjoying the process, and could see that I improved as I went along.  Practice, practice, practice really does work.

    Twinkle is so glad that I'm home, but not happy that I'm spending time at my table, rather than on the couch with her.  She tried to balance and make do on my lap, but not for long.

    There was a beautiful glittering silvery dream last night- a boat ride near waterfalls and a new version of Portugal.

    

    And more waves for Barbara....

Jumping all over the place

    Yesterday's wish for a boat...  Actually, it was a wish to be in a boat, in the middle of the sea...alone.

    There are seventy days until Moon goes to college.  Being a summer birthday, we waited a year to put him into kindergarten.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.  He'll be nineteen in a couple of weeks, and is more than ready to move on to the next phase of his life, as he constantly reminds us... sigh.  While we're going to miss him (and I think he'll miss us too, even if he doesn't know it!), we are all ready to love each other from some distance! 

    This parting is going to be so much easier than Blue's (some of you may remember my mama drama- part one and part two).  Being second, and going to school only an hour and a half away should make for a much less dramatic transition.  Finger's crossed.

    Jump!  (I have a cousin who writes "Jump!" whenever changing topics without a segue.)

    Inspired by Deb's lovely dress, I pulled out my copy of  The Act of Sewing, consulted Deb (many thanks!), and have almost finished a version of the shirt.

    Weirdly, I love making bias tape (first photo), but really dislike hemming.

    Jump!

    There will be new pieces in the shop tomorrow morning.  A few longer moon cloths, two tokens, a tree and one peaceful boat (without me in it). 

Beauty in a bit of storm

    I've been off the last few days.  Wandering aimless through the house, putzing, unfocussed, trying to stitch, but not liking anything that came out of my needle.  One piece was even thrown across the room with a "There's no hope for you!"

    Today was so dark- windy and raining.  Stormy weather often shakes things up for me.  I forced myself to sit down and try, "Make a boat."  It almost always works to help me find my way back home.

    In the middle of working on it, the old windows were rattling from the wind.  The blanket over my lap wasn't enough.  My feet fumbled around under the table in search of slippers.  There's been no need for them in the mostly nice weather we've had over the last weeks.  In fact, the last time I used them was while visiting my ferry-ride-away friend's house.  The visit when my wallet went missing.  I finally gave up on finding it two days ago... after several calls to the ferry lost & found, going there in person, searching the shrubs around the dock, and asking my friend to search between the cushions and in her long gravel driveway... On Monday I ordered a replacement driver's license, saying to K., "You know it will turn up now."

    Anyhow, one slipper was way under the table.  Reaching for it with my toe, I pulled it closer and slipped a foot in.  There was something in it.  My beloved $10 glittery designer wallet.  When I dropped it into the tote bag it must have fallen into the slipper.  Upon arriving home the slippers were tossed under the table, and the next day when I realized the wallet was missing, the fact that the slippers had been in the bag was completely forgotten.

    "She Needed Some Stars" with an indigo silk sail dyed by Deb G., and rainbow stars & deep sea by Deb L.

At home with myself

   "Moon Marks"  Stitching this one was very comforting, soothing colors, simple stitches. 

    p-a-l-E-t-t-e a word I will always struggle to spell.  Rhythm and restaurant are two more.  There are lots of others.

    For the first time since mid-March 2020, Moon went back to school.  They have divided those who wanted to come back into two groups (based on whether the last digit of their address is odd or even).  Each group goes for two afternoons a week.  They will still continue on-line for most of their school hours.  It's a bit of a scramble to finish the last morning class, eat lunch and get to the school in time, so I made his lunch for him the first day.  I made it into a face like I did when the boys were little.  He was so anxious and flustered that he didn't even notice.  Fortunately, he came home saying it was great!  I'm so glad he'll have a smidge of his senior year with friends.

    This one.  I don't even know what to say.  A party on, in and around a hill?  Or some folks on Instagram saw a Duomo, or a campsite.  I'm calling it "Her Happy Place".

    We've had a beautiful week of weather.  Clouds coming in tonight.

    Tree stitching across the water at my friend M's sweet house yesterday.  Her ranunculus (hey, I spelled that right!) were just opening.  The one on Tina's pretty pink cloth is "Clementine."

    Today, a home.  It's about now, and then.

Blue & potatoes

    Before the boat it looked quite desert-like with its soft colors dyed by Tina, Deb and Laura.  There was quite a long ponder as to what might be in the wide open pink space?  At first, a boat washed ashore onto dry land.  Fortunately, the sea rolled in, silk from Richard that I dyed in indigo.  

    It's been good and fun to dip into new color combinations lately, but I do find that after each wading there is a craving for the familiar comfort of blue.  

    And now for the nature portion of our show...

    The birthday "card" from Blue arrived.  Yes, a real potato.  It came inside of a mailer labeled "The Best Gift Ever".  Inside was a shiny gold box holding the spud, with a message from him written on the other side.  This is so my family.  I texted him, "You're so weird!  And I'm so glad!" 

    He has always had a thing for potatoes.  You can't imagine how happy he was to discover blue potatoes, there was a potato costume for Halloween at age nine, and in high school his email address included the words "bluepotato".

    A sprig that K brought home from a walk.  The smell is delicious.

    Speaking of delicious... stitching into this silky moon gift from Jude... sigh... like melting.  A very soft thin cloth.  This one has so many tiny stitches, some to include the whole rainbow spectrum, others not needed for design or stability, but because I just didn't want to stop.