handstories

too much

    The other day a box of unfinished pieces, big and small, was found.  I started to sort out the pieces, which ones I might still want to finish, others for dismantling to repurpose the cloth.  There were so many pins and needles to be reclaimed!  By the time the bottom of the pile was reached, I was completely overwhelmed with myself and shoved it all back in and onto the shelf.  Except for one piece.  I cut it in half to rescue the starry sky from the weird fish/sea monster below.  But even the effort it was taking to figure out how to reconfigure the bottom became too much.

    That same day, all of the plans to get to the beach became too involved- too many steps, things and people were having to be considered.  All I want to do is stand still in the waves.  I called it all off and will try again when things feel calmer and more known.

    So this little boat was stitched instead.  It reminds me of my first squares.  Simple.

    And then yesterday, this piece below began with the roots.  I got quite lost in them, and then a red tree grew.

    I don't know what's going on.

What came next

    Blue.  Lots of blue.  With a layer of flannel in-between.  I dug out the biggest pieces that could be found, including one with a rosy patch (I don't remember when or why that happened.)   And now stitching the three layers together.  There's a moon, an archway, and water lines are in the works.  

    This hasn't been thought through, nor is it being executed in a sensible way.  

    We'll see what comes of it.

    I am thinking so much, and have absolutely no clear thoughts.  There was wishing for the ability to time travel, but then realized that I have no idea of when I would go to, or what I would tell myself to do differently.

    Stitching on...

hushed

    Some stitching has made it into the courtroom, held close in my lap.  Slow tiny stitches, keeping the movements as small as possible.  It helps with listening and concentration, that's for sure.  

    Blue flew back to college early this morning.  Four months until we see him again...  I've spent the day quietly stitching, mostly alone, just having some feelings.  Lots of them.

endlessnessing

    Realizing that endless is not necessarily a bad thing.

    Sometimes it's just the thing.

    Sometimes it's everything.

    Coming home from school today Moon said, "Mama, I have a problem.  Now there are four things I want to do when I grow up.  Be an actor, a football player, a baseball player, and a spy.  How will I decide?"  "Maybe you won't have to?" 

    Remember when you thought that you could be anything?  When life was full of endless possibilities?

starting simple

    Just needing to stitch, without a plan or story...yet.