handstories

Gathering light

"How it Would Be"

    A thin moon layer of Heike's dyed silk allows Deb's wonder cloth to shine through.

"Unexpected Rainbows"

    Bigger than usual, 9" x 7".  More of Deb's cloth sailing in the breeze.

    My favorite spot.

    Life is in a tunnel right now, but there are a couple of lights twinkling at the end of it. 

    Spectrums.

    I have the hardest time photographing paintings.  The light is rarely right.

    Two friends, by two favorite artists.  "Story" made by Cathy Cullis many years ago (resting in a bluebird tea cup that matches one belonging to a dear friend.  She gave it to me so that we could imagine having tea together anytime), and a painting by Amanda Blake, "She Kept Herself Safe".  It was a rare spontaneous instantaneous purchase a few years ago.  I named her "Lucinda," and just looked up the meaning- light, of course.  They are across the table directly in front of me as I stitch.  Keeping company and an eye on things.  There are a few more friends here, but these two are giving me meaningful looks today

    The teacup friend texted today, "Are you ok?" 

        "Nope.  But trying to be."

"Gathering Light"

   Or "Audrey the Third" if you're Dee (ha, inside joke).  A Threadcrumb moon, deep purple wave by Tina and the sky, and reverse-side patch in the bottom corner, are a Maiwa cloth.

    Not a lot of stitching over the last days.  A little mending and plenty of wondering about all kinds of things, with some anxieties added into the mix.

    I started digging through the studio shelves.  Filled three bags- garbage, recycling and donations.  A small dent.

    Found a few piles of quilt starts, including some that I have no memory of.  Wondering if I can just close my eyes and stitch the odds and ends together?  Make them into blankets of some sort?  Useful, if nothing else.

    One very long night with a mosquito circling around my head.  Even under the quilt I could hear its whining.  There wasn't much sleep the next night either.  In fact, I was having a really good dream, movie star included.  Just as it was about to get good, I told him I was too tired, that I couldn't keep my eyes open, and fell asleep in dreamland, only to wake up in real life even more exhausted.  Drat.

 

    Looking for something to do, that would require no thoughts, I pulled out the spinning wheel.  So much dust.  Honestly, why I forget how much I love to spin, I don't know.

    The glow of yellow skies from the wild fires came back for a couple of days.  We're lucky that the air quality has stayed good.

    Last night there were two brief rain showers.  I ran outside to stand in it.  Hoping for real rain on Friday.

    Today- wave work.  Not how I usually go about starting a piece.  Rarely plan so much out at the beginning.  It's also a little bigger (9x6") than the usual 4" squares.  Not sure where it's going from here...

Sailing, cinnamon rolls & moon dreaming

"She Journeyed On"

    When I found this tiny ship in a bottle on my basement shelves in the school I was leaving after 23 years... I didn't think twice about keeping it.  Whoever it belonged to before, clearly the universe meant it for me.  It was time to set sail... 

    I wonder if I'll ever stitch such a grand ship (or be able to?)

    How many candles can you fit on a cinnamon roll?

    Nineteen.

    For Moon.  

    We were glad for the decision to only put the candles on one roll!

    I'm the only one in the house who still asks for a cake.

    The tiniest of scraps can make a world.

    There was a fall on the front porch two days ago- stepping down the front porch stairs with arms full of damp laundry to put out on the drying racks, turning around to reclose the door that hadn't quite latched, tripping over the now trailing bedsheet in shoes that were too loosely tied...

    Falling so slowly that there was time to wonder if I could catch myself, or would I go off the edge of the porch taking the window boxes with me, or maybe (as the stumble picked up speed and turned into a tumble) go through the screen door, and most importantly a quick prayer to the sky that no one was coming up or down the sidewalk and that none of the neighbors were looking out of their windows. 

    All the while fumbling to get my hands untangled from the laundry to stop the plummeting off of the porch.  One hand got free in time to grab the screen and push it into the watering can, jar, etc. that later needed retrieved out of the ferns below.  I landed in a full out sprawl-splat, knocking the flower boxes a few inches over the edge, but not off.  Banged and bruised, but grateful that there was only the cat as a witness.  Still quite sore, but the bruises are getting pretty.  Just don't bounce like I used to.

    Friends are sailing out on the ocean, with experienced friends to help them on their first sea trip.  Hoping they're gaining confidence, and that I'll be able to have a turn soon....  They left Portland on Friday and will reach Point Roberts (the tiny tip of the U.S. that's attached to Canada) by Tuesday.  With the help of a find-my-friend feature on the phone, I'm able to see about where they are, and was excited and envious while watching them cross the bar from the Columbia River onto the Pacific.  It's such a beautiful powerful spot where the river meets the sea.

    Dreaming of a moonlit sail...

"Moon Dreams in Blue"

A thousand little things &/or stitches

    Thinking about the cycles that happen with stitching, and in relationships.  Both seem slow going and growing at times.

    Last night I dreamt that I was transported to Italy.  So happy, I tried to call Deb G. to tell her, but then the sky exploded with flames...

    The relationship with this bird is tenuous at best.  I fill the birdbath each morning and try to keep out of sight when he shows up.  Landing in the Japanese maple outside the window of the front room, yelling at me if I'm within view.  The other morning he saw me and then went to the porch, continuing to yell on the other side of the door, while snacking in the window boxes.  He likes to eat alone.

    Some of these are mixed colors, many of them are not.  I have an addiction to blue paints.

Jumping all over the place

    Yesterday's wish for a boat...  Actually, it was a wish to be in a boat, in the middle of the sea...alone.

    There are seventy days until Moon goes to college.  Being a summer birthday, we waited a year to put him into kindergarten.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.  He'll be nineteen in a couple of weeks, and is more than ready to move on to the next phase of his life, as he constantly reminds us... sigh.  While we're going to miss him (and I think he'll miss us too, even if he doesn't know it!), we are all ready to love each other from some distance! 

    This parting is going to be so much easier than Blue's (some of you may remember my mama drama- part one and part two).  Being second, and going to school only an hour and a half away should make for a much less dramatic transition.  Finger's crossed.

    Jump!  (I have a cousin who writes "Jump!" whenever changing topics without a segue.)

    Inspired by Deb's lovely dress, I pulled out my copy of  The Act of Sewing, consulted Deb (many thanks!), and have almost finished a version of the shirt.

    Weirdly, I love making bias tape (first photo), but really dislike hemming.

    Jump!

    There will be new pieces in the shop tomorrow morning.  A few longer moon cloths, two tokens, a tree and one peaceful boat (without me in it). 

Beauty in a bit of storm

    I've been off the last few days.  Wandering aimless through the house, putzing, unfocussed, trying to stitch, but not liking anything that came out of my needle.  One piece was even thrown across the room with a "There's no hope for you!"

    Today was so dark- windy and raining.  Stormy weather often shakes things up for me.  I forced myself to sit down and try, "Make a boat."  It almost always works to help me find my way back home.

    In the middle of working on it, the old windows were rattling from the wind.  The blanket over my lap wasn't enough.  My feet fumbled around under the table in search of slippers.  There's been no need for them in the mostly nice weather we've had over the last weeks.  In fact, the last time I used them was while visiting my ferry-ride-away friend's house.  The visit when my wallet went missing.  I finally gave up on finding it two days ago... after several calls to the ferry lost & found, going there in person, searching the shrubs around the dock, and asking my friend to search between the cushions and in her long gravel driveway... On Monday I ordered a replacement driver's license, saying to K., "You know it will turn up now."

    Anyhow, one slipper was way under the table.  Reaching for it with my toe, I pulled it closer and slipped a foot in.  There was something in it.  My beloved $10 glittery designer wallet.  When I dropped it into the tote bag it must have fallen into the slipper.  Upon arriving home the slippers were tossed under the table, and the next day when I realized the wallet was missing, the fact that the slippers had been in the bag was completely forgotten.

    "She Needed Some Stars" with an indigo silk sail dyed by Deb G., and rainbow stars & deep sea by Deb L.

Blue thoughts

    Yesterday was another good stitching day, two pieces were started.  Moons and blues on my mind.

    Until a headache and carsick feeling kicked in late afternoon.  A delayed reaction that grew and grew until I went to bed.  A small price to pay to feel safer in this world, and one step closer to normal.

    Today I feel just fine, possibly because tonight, after fifteen plus months, Blue is coming home for two weeks!  For the last year I've been lamenting not seeing him be twenty-two, but tonight I will look into and hold his face on the last eve of it, as tomorrow he turns twenty-three.  I've been afraid to believe it would really happen, but he's in the air right now...

        This morning I went a bit wild with Deb's thread around Jude's moon, but I've lost focus for the last few hours.  There is so much I should/could be doing right now- stitching, cleaning, writing a promised article, baking a birthday pie, but all I can do is stare at the clock and hold my breath.

    (And just to say, K, Moon and Blue have all finished up their vaccinations.)

More cake, rope & a boat

    This year's birthday season came to a close last night with German chocolate cake made by Moon and a family visit with virtual Blue.

    A new boat, sailing into, or with, springtime.

    I had forgotten some of the rope story...  It all started with this photo and a text from my brother to my sisters and me last April.  What you need to know:  My dad's name was Pat, both of them were in the volunteer fire department of our hometown, my brother's son (D) is now in one in his town, and that my family likes to tell stories.  Here's my brother's in his somewhat edited words...

    "Ok, good morning, prepare for some rambling, or delete now...  Couldn't sleep so have been cleaning shop since 5am and drinking COFFEE.  Weather has been 68-74 the last 10 days and thank goodness it's raining today- makes this quarantine more bearable?  At least it feels ok to sit in/at home.  Shop's clean, drawers organized, and drill bits all sharpened.

    "I said rambling right?  When I resigned from the fire department in February, after 35 years, I cleaned out my turnout pockets, came home and tossed it all in box."  ("turnouts" are what fire fighters call their uniform pants tucked into boots, partially turned inside out, with suspenders dangling on the sides, all standing ready to be stepped into and pulled on quickly.)

    "This morning in my puttering, I mean cleaning, I found I needed a section of rope to hang my gnomes on.  The ones I kept from Pat's (Dad's), as the original rope had rotted away (see photo).  I recalled my "turnout rope" (see photo).  Now you ask what is a turnout rope? 

    "Always carry a piece of rope in your turnouts, that way you'll have it when you need it," Pat-ism (Dad had A LOT of sayings).  To tie off a ladder, a hose or whatever.  On one call Pat borrowed my rope (guess who didn't have his), tied open a door, and let it get burned up when we were pulled out of the structure.

    So I proceeded to give him crap about my rope... And where was his rope?  We know who lost mine, etc.... 

    One drill night in a classroom, he sat and end braided a new section of rope.  Not quite half the class watched him- fascinated as they had never seen end braiding and they still weren't sure why or what he was doing?  Near the end of class Pat came over to me, in front of everyone, and handed it to me.

    "Your f---ing rope, don't lose it again!"  A good laugh.  It's still with me.

    It seems funny, I carried that simple piece of rope and used it Many times for 33 years.  I'll never need it for turnouts again.... Can't decide whether to hang the gnomes with it or....  D. can't use it as now everyone carries synthetic webbing....whatever.

    See rambling....simple things that somehow make us tick."

    Love this rope more and more.
 

More flowers

    Hill as home.  Stitch as song.

    Isn't this cloth dyed by Tina a glorious color?  Fuchsia, magenta, cerise?  And Deb's thread pulling all of the colors together?

    The last two mornings drawings have been of something on my table, still not looking at the paper.   I haven't forgotten that I said I would share more about this painting practice, but I'm still gathering/finding words about it. 

    Actually, I've been very frustrated about words this week, that I can't seem to pull them into the shape of what I want to say.   It takes so much work to get to the root of things, at least about myself. 

    "They Returned in Song & Starlight"

    There was a moment of seeing something clearly the other day.  Two friends asked about finding a way/time to celebrate my birthday.  I did my usual, "Oh, that's nice, I don't know, we'll see...."  Later, after seeing my horoscope for the week, "Your desire to make sure no one is left out or lonely...." , and I thought to myself, isn't that the truth that I do that, and then thought, isn't it the truth that I don't do that for myself, and how hard I work to not take up space or want, to not be seen as all of those words that I sometimes still believe about myself.

    I've probably circled around this topic here before, but this time I reached back out to my friends and said, "Yes."

    Sometimes, after stretching and trying something new, it's really comforting to sail back home in, and to, a comfortable spot.

More trees & seas

“It Was a Map of Possibilities”

    Trees and boats, back and forth.  Grounding and going.  Holding on and trusting.  Knowing and wondering.  Strength and bravery.

    I'm really liking the grays lately, and how they add to and deepen other colors.

    This painting makes me think of an inukshuk.

"Anika"

    The tree tokens are being named now.  Names from heroes, storybook characters, former students, and ones that I just like.  Sometimes it's clear who they are while stitching,  others take a while to get to know.  I'm hoping a Ramona will show up.

   How many trees does it take to make a forest?  This small stand will be in the shop in the morning (Saturday, 11/14, 9am PST), along with a handful of story cloths.  Thanks for taking a peek.