handstories

Songs for Our Circle

"A Pocket for the Burnt and Broken Heart” by Mo 2014

    Reading the posts that hold Rod and Mo in our hearts reminds me again of the strength and beauty of this circle.

    Mo's pocket hangs next to my worktable.   Inside of it are things and thoughts for love and healing.  In a long ago post about it, I wrote, "This beautiful "Pocket for the Burnt and Broken Heart" by Mo arrived a bit ago.  It came holding Mo's amazing spirit and stitching, along with a heart stitched by Jude, and many treasures and inspirations.  I love thinking of all of the journeys contained in it's parts, and how it represents a little corner of the community Jude has created.  I am so grateful to Mo for sharing her heart . . . both kinds."

    Thinking of this community, I thought of the song "A Circle is Cast" by Libana (listen here), and this one...  and remembered being at one of their concerts in the early 90's.  It was an intimate space in shadowy light, with these gorgeous voiced women circling us in song.  It was beautiful and holy.

    For Mo and Rod, holding them, and each of us, in the circle of light that this community is.

returning & gifts

    The "Love Can Mend" pennant is back from being a part of Mo's powerful installation of love, "I Dream of a World Where Love is the Answer".  Mo's vision, talents and magic gathered together love and hope from around the world.  I wish I could have been in that room and have been surrounded by the energy of it all.

        There is some weariness going on here, just as there was in the making this, and remembering what I wrote, back in November, when sending it off to Mo, "...maybe this is how it really is.  This work and struggle for peace, healing the earth, trying to find a way through-  It doesn't usually happen because everything is a calm and hunky-dory garden of sweet peas and roses.  The ripped and rough places show us what's really going on, and call to us for mending.  For most of us, we do what we can with what we have.  Piecing together whatever kind of inner scraps we might have within.  And just maybe, all of the frayed worn bits can be brought together and worked into a kind of wholeness again."  

    While I'm sad that the gathering is over, it's been good to have it back, as a reminder that there is love and beauty in mending.

    Mo's generosity continued with the added gifts of one of her brilliant stars, bit of blue and a cloud of wedding cloth (I see some sails in there...).  And while wrapping the ties in the tree for photos, there was a sudden movement to the left, turning my head, there was a hummingbird mid-air,  eye-level, within arms reach.  We looked at each other for a split second before it zipped away, another gift.

    A heart-deep thank you to Mo and the Gathering, oxo.

love can mend

    When Mo sent out an invitation to join in the making of her installation "I Dream of a World Where Love is the Answer," I had visions of a little boat on a calm sea under twinkling starlight, all being peacefully stitched on lovely summer days.

    Well, none of that happened.

   Giving up on the idea of making it with a peaceful spirit, it was dipped into the fading indigo vat.  After washing it, I started to iron it, and before I realized what was happening, there were holes melted into it.  At first there was panic, but then Mo's phrase "our beautiful broken world" came to mind, and it began to take shape.

   An earth of scraps and stitch was made. followed by a golden moon with the warm sun below, a few patches of deep space and starlight, and a scattering of stars across it all.

    And while making, there was thinking, confusion, and a wondering if... maybe this is how it really is.  This work and struggle for peace, healing the earth, trying to find a way through-  It doesn't usually happen because everything is a calm and hunky-dory garden of sweet peas and roses.  The ripped and rough places show us what's really going on, and call to us for mending.  For most of us, we do what we can with what we have.  Piecing together whatever kind of inner scraps we might have within.  And just maybe, all of the frayed worn bits can be brought together and worked into a kind of wholeness again.

    With a heart full of gratitude for Mo's vision and spirit, I'm sending wishes and prayers for, and into, the bigness of the Universe and our own small wished for cosmoses within it... May they all be patched and held together with our threads of hope and love. 

in the middle of through

    Not a lot of words right now.

    Too much going on.

sun & stars

    It rained early this morning.  Hard and loud, it woke me, a glorious downpour.  Didn't even care that the car windows were cracked a few inches (fortunately K. did and went out to close them at 5am).  Everything seems bright and clean.

    More gifts have melted into a Sun for Mo's pennant.

    And now for some stars.  I've been itching to get to this point.

sides of the moon

    Time lost all meaning last night.  Cold and then hot, a wrong number phone call at 1am (it was all I could do not to call this person back at 7am and ask how he slept?). three nightmares- of assaults, murders and suicide pacts, and a cat on my feet, who would not be moved.

    I woke up delirious, and then, first thing, Moon said, "I want to be like                         ."   (That blank is a member of my family, someone we had stopped to see on our way to the ocean last week.  A person who, being around, or even talking to requires a whole lot of self-talk and self-armoring on my part.)  

    I think I looked at Moon as if he had just announced that he wanted to bite the head off of a chicken.  After regrouping, I asked him why?

    "I like his attitude, and he's got good hair."  (Both sides of Moon's family tree make the fear of baldness a justifiable worry.)

    Hmmm.  How different things can look from another angle.  A bend in time, age, roles.  A tilt of the head can move the darkness, or at least allow some light in.

    In spite of all of this, or maybe because of, it's been a peaceful day of being lost in stars and moon.

    Wishing us all some sweet dreams.

(This is the next addition to Mo's pennant.  A golden moon pieced out of scraps from Jude and Deb.) 

peace dreaming

    It seems I'm lost in the last hazy days of summer.  Focus is hard to grasp.  The other day I had to pull over to remember where I was going and how to get there...to a place I go every other week.  

    Suddenly autumn has arrived.  There's a golden edge to the leaves and a welcomed coolness in the air.  It will probably be good for me once school starts, to be in a routine again, be accountable...but I can't imagine it right now.

    In an effort to find some grounding, stitching has finally begun on my pennant for Mo's  Gathering- her collaborative creation "I Dream of a World Where Love is the Answer."  Mo's deep and wide visions, eye and talent for the tiniest details, combined with her deep heart and love for this world and all it holds, are sure to make this installation an amazing gift to behold.  

    The satin was dipped in the fading moments of last summer's indigo, leaving it with a silvery shimmer.  I'm not quite sure how this will go... imagining pieced peace filled spheres (planet and moon thoughts), and there will be stars, many many stars to map the story, guide the way, pin hopes on, and for wishing...

a pocket full

    This beautiful "Pocket for the Burnt and Broken Heart" by Mo arrived a bit ago.  It came holding Mo's amazing spirit and stitching, along with a heart stitched by Jude, and many treasures and inspirations.  I love thinking of all of the journeys contained in it's parts, and how it represents a little corner of the community Jude has created.

    I am so grateful to Mo for sharing her heart . . . both kinds.

     It has been hanging near where I work, close by for admiring and petting (it is so soft).  

    Today I gathered small pieces of cloth.  On each I wrote a word- a person or thing that my heart needs a little healing around.  

    The pages were stitched loosely into this tiny booklet.  The threads were left un-knotted, so pages can easily be removed or added.

    Treasures and tokens were gathered.

    All were tucked into Mo's pocket- for safe keeping, for comfort, for mending.