“The Shape of Hope”
Delirious. Last night was spent holding vigil in the ER for dear friends. Their lives have been turned upside down over the last couple of weeks.
“Nadine” for hope.
I try to channel my big sister/mom/teacher/bossy self in useful ways... bring (and share) wine, applesauce, snickerdoodles, take out the recycling, take away piles. When really there is nothing that anyone can do other than being there and keep shifting the ways that hope is held on to.
The other day, while walking and thinking of them, there was a blue bird near the sidewalk. Not the Stellar's jays that I usually see, it was one that I've never seen around here before. I don't know what it was, other than beautiful, and a gift.
“Holding Light”
Home at 4:30am. Head buzzing. Two and half hours of sleep. The body keeps its patterns. She is sending texts of things to visualize. That procedures will happen for him, answers will be found, with solutions. Medical textbook images are rearranged and surrounded by swirling rainbows, stars, and blue birds in my thoughts.
Yesterday I wrote, "If only we could stitch safe places for who and what we hold dear."
If only.
