"The Night's Blue Magic"
Regarding taxes- I hate feeling stupid, it helped that K (an accounting major) wasn't able to figure out the problem either. A very patient soul, on the other end of the state taxes helpline, held my hand and walked me through the issue. Notes were taken, in hopes that next year might be the one without tax tears (a person can dream).
The ER bill arrived yesterday. I can't even wrap my head around how those numbers are real? How is this ok? Combined with the plumbing work, what an expensive month January was. Today I am just being grateful that we have resources and am moving on...
Maybe because of this, I'm working harder at being disciplined with my time and stitching. Routines work for me, so I'm trying to keep to a schedule. This is mostly easy, because I love it. Now, if only some headway on the business side of things can be made. Not so easy, but it will be better in the long run if I can just sit down and make myself figure some things out. I also need to make myself get up and stretch more!
"Hesper" Tree Token
A piece of all of this is thinking of stitching as a job, which plays mind games on me, spinning me back and forth between joy and weirdness, and even some guilt (or is it old shame?). I worry about losing my way in it all, losing the heart of it, about valuing myself, about not being who people might think I am.
With all of the recent trips to Oregon, time with family, I finally pushed myself to talk about my stitching, to call it "My Work" out loud. Things about it were brought to share for the first time- pieces, the Stitch-illo book, etc. It was hard to put myself on display with faces looking back at me. Good and bad comments undo me. It's fascinating and feels like drowning at the same time.
My brother (who uses the words "I'm sorry" to begin most sentences) said, "I'm sorry, but they really feel like watercolors to me."
"That's a wonderful thing to say, thank you!" His words filled me with joy.
Onward...
"Where Dreams Begin"
With admiration and thanks for Deb, Tina and Jude for sharing their gifts of and with cloth and thread (among other things!).
