Yesterday in search of a path. Using a moon, silky red and magic thread gifts from Jude, I tried to make my own.
It’s hard when the best way forward isn't clearly marked. It's been a rough week, a decision had to be made. Is it an opportunity, a step backwards, or a leap into quicksand? We aren't sure. Instead of making things lighter, it was more complicated than imagined.
K. wondered why nothing felt right or easy.
"Because nothing is right now. Because it's been a f@#$ing hard year for us, and lots of people. It's not personal." (I don't usually swear, really.)
The pro/con lists tipped in both directions. We looked hard for which way to lean..."ONE WAY," "NO U-TURNS," "DO NOT ENTER"... anything would have been welcomed.
I looked for things I could do. I could make a call with hope that it would have helpful information at the other end. I dialed, redialed, and punched in the needed numbers nonstop for over half an hour. Finally, I got through to a place in the on-hold line (with really awful music), only having to hang up forty-five minutes later because there was an appointment to get to.
After days of debate, a leap of faith/decision was made, with hope and trust that the shape of a hill is also that of a doorway- an archway to goodness and going. (Thanks to Liz for this reminder.)
I said to K, “We'll do this, and if there are pieces to pick up later... We will."
We remind each other of who we are... and that we can.
Today bases for tree tokens were made. I don’t usually work like this, in a group. Sometimes two or three together, but not rows of them. Without planning there were thirteen. My lucky number.
I just wanted to see what it might be like. Would it would it be an assembly line? Or would there be connections and relationships? How might they inform each other? I wonder if they will have their own individual tales, while still being pieces of a whole?
No answers yet, but it’s interesting to hold so many stories at once… like a wander through a deep forest with much to see in every direction at once.
Yesterday there was a walk in the arboretum. A raven cawed and cawed while flying overhead- soaring and swerving as crows harassed it. It was so big. And beautiful.
The Cherry trees are in blossom, and the magnolias. This one had blooms the size of dinner plates. I wanted to gobble them, to be filled with them.
