Here I go again...writing, saying, thinking the same things over and over...trying to get to the heart of something.
Sometimes it's about sharing, and leaning on and into each other.
Moon was on a band trip to Reno the last few days. Before he left, we (I) talked about expected behavior, and we thought through possible scenarios. He came back fine, grumpy, tired and bothered by something. After a nap and food he wanted to share. One of the scenarios came true, and then some. I'm so proud of him for taking care of himself, walking away, and for being brave enough to say who he is, how he feels, and still be a friend.
Sometimes it's about the wondering about it all, the memories and connections.
Moon talked about feeling disappointed in people. That each person has things to offer, but also has something that doesn't work for you. That there is no perfect friend, but friendship can still help you. I told him that I'm learning we have to be our own best friend, and also congratulations for figuring things out forty years ahead of me. And sometimes it's just about going, doing the best you can, and trying to grow along the way.
In another exchange yesterday, with a friend... understanding what is, and why it is, and wondering how, if you know you're missing pieces, and that some roots just aren't there (the ones that hold some folks up and make them sure and steady), how do we get from awareness, to change, to growth? And we sighed, knowing that life isn't a light-switch, and that hopefully, it's an evolution.
This week's thinkings and feelings are in the shop.