The other night, out of sorts, too tired to make, but wanting to hold something . . . I wrapped and unwrapped this old felted rock with a scrap of cloth, over and over.
Things at school are hard. There is struggling, for teachers and students. It is a tough group, for all kinds of reasons, some unknown. No one has answers. I am trying to learn new skills, to be better, but did think about calling in sick yesterday. I went. First thing, there was success in math, especially for one boy, who often doesn't try, because he doesn't think he can, he got it. He beamed, we high-fived, I even cried a little from happiness. Three hours later, leaving, I saw him sitting in the office. He was mad. He was in big trouble, again. I sat with him until the principal came, saying, "So sorry this happened…you had such a great morning, I know you can turn things around . . . blah, blah, blah." Wanting to say, of course you're mad, I'm so sorry for how your life has gone so far, I wish you had enough . . . of everything. I cried most of the way home, because some things seem too big to fix.
The cloth was stitched on, without glasses.
This morning thread beads were added to touch. It's not pretty, it's not really anything, and is not any of the things I should have been doing today. It's been named "tears".
