handstories

layering

                

    What started with this... 

                   ... is finished.

     I wondered if  "core" would ever feel done.  Each time I thought I was near the end, some other idea would come.  That dream feeling of running towards a door and never getting any closer kept coming to mind.  Part of it was not wanting to let go of the feel of the cloth.  The more stitches that went into it,

the softer and stronger it became.    

    Yesterday, the last pieces fell into place...

    Thread beads of stories...

 ...a green gold patch for someone who has always believed me.   Even though her story looked completely different, she has made room for my truth.  With thirteen thread beads in honor of her being born on Friday the thirteenth, which I have always considered a lucky number since that day.

,,,a blue moon for my boys, surrounded by K's twenty-eight (his lucky number) beads of light, for which I thank my lucky stars.

    And done.  With the last three stitches, I said, "Done, done, done."  Realizing I can still hold it whenever I need to, for its softness and strength.  Recognizing the words that are still underneath, but they have been layered with true stories, and softened with stitches of understanding and maybe forgiveness, or at least some loosening.  

Mr. Fred McFeely Rogers

    I love this man.  For so many reasons.  He was honest, true, kind, and believed that "feelings are mentionable and manageable".

    Several years ago, I was talked into doing a triathalon.  I figured I could walk, if not run the three miles, biking for twelve miles could happen- slowly, but the swimming...the swimming, half a mile in open water.  I knew basics, floating, not drowning, but needed some refresher lessons on building stamina, strokes, breathing, and keeping my face in the water.  Once that was accomplished, it was time to head out into the lake.

    I grew up swimming in rivers, but that had been a long time ago.  I was surprised at the fear that arose at the idea of swimming away from shore.  A friend kept taking me, and I kept panicking.  After another failed attempt, discouraged, I cried for two hours...."I can't do it."

    The next morning, I turned on "Mister Rogers Neighborhood" for the boys.

    Mr. Rogers was doing laps in a pool.  He talked about that, and it went something like this...  

    "Do you like to swim?"  (yes, Mr. Rogers.)   "I do.  But it can be scary sometimes.  Are you scared sometimes?"  (Yes!  Mr. Rogers.)  "You can talk to people you love about that."   (ok, Mr. Rogers)   "I made a promise to myself to swim everyday....even when it's hard, and I always try to keep my promises....that's my discipline."  (OK, Mr. Rogers!!!)

    I swam in the lake, finished the race,  and the swimming was my favorite part.

    Thank you, Mr. Rogers.

 

core's community

    I think this will be finished in the next couple of days, just stitching it all together, lots and lots of stitches.  

    Began as a way to reshape an old lonely sad message, "core" has grown into a collection of community.  It is full with the caring thoughts many of you have shared, and the cloths of jude and Gerdiary, ...

...strips and dots dyed with elderberry and tea, from drucilla and the wonder woman bracelet, ...

 ...and grace's butterfly lighting on a flower from arlee's cloths.

    "core", is being strengthened by the inspirations, talents and friendships of this community, and so am I.

meet my friend, hortencia...

        Isn't she lovely?  I love her name, Hortencia.  The batt was created by hands+notions, full of lots of soft squishy texture.  Whatever am I going to do with all of this yarn I keep spinning?  Selling some of it has been suggested, but after spending so much time with it slipping and bumping through my fingers, each yarn feels like a friend.  How do you sell your friends?  Some of them get knitted, but how many scarves or hats does one person need?  And I live with three boys who are not interested in wearing scarves or hats (other than baseball hats).  So, I could sell knitted things, but by then I've spent even more time with it, the relationship has deepened.  Suddenly the Camelot song "If Ever I Would Leave You" comes to mind.  

    Yes, I have issues.

Contains: merino + rambouillet locks, silk, baby suri alpaca locks, kid mohair locks, and sparkle.

in the absence of...

    "The two most important words in the english language are 'thank you.'"

          -Mr. Fred McFeely Rogers

    For those who didn't say it today . . . you are welcome.

 

more mandy

    Things have been very busy with work and family, very little time to stitch thread or yarn.  Mostly, just stitching the square in the morning and a little knitting on the playground. 

    BUT, last night, my artist friend and colleague, jodi and I went to a wonderful gathering.  It was a community crochet event with Mandy Greer, one of my favorite local artists.  I went on and on about her here.  Last night we contributed to her latest work, "Solstenen".  (You can read more about it here .)  We all worked with silver, grey and black fibers, crocheting chains or ruffles, depending on our skill levels.  The above photo shows the pieces jodi and i worked on.  

    While crocheting, there were two guests artists, Saskia Delores and Rodrigo Valenzuela, who shared short films, intermingled with inspiring discussions about their work and the fears and obstacles we are afraid to, but must overcome, if we are to be artists who are sharing our truths.

    It was lovely to spend an evening being surrounded by artistic creations- in people, sounds, visuals, and in our hands.  To top it all off, there were sparkly crochet hooks to use!

"will you show us the back...the map of your days?

    Here it is, Nancy.  I was thinking about that - "a map of my days".  It's actually a map of my early mornings.  Wondering, what if I also did it at the end of the day, how would the two squares differ?  Or maybe the back is what things would look like in the end?!

    Also noticing the difference between this back and the one jude shared over in "the magic diaries" class.  Her cloth's back has an etch like quality to it, making me think of star charts and ancient maps.  This backside has a more solid scribbling appearance, not just because of the trailing ends.  I'm thinking of coloring books.  

    And on an entirely different topic, can I just whine about that log laying on our sidewalk grass in the photo below?  It is a telephone pole.  Our neighbor was worried about the leaning rotting one that is between our two properties.  He made all the calls, a couple of years ago.  They came and looked last year.  They brought this pole and put it down in front of OUR house- about two months ago.  They came about a month ago.  They were digging a hole next to the old pole. 

    "What are you doing?" I called out.

     "Checking to see if this pole needs replaced."  

    "Shouldn't you have done that BEFORE bringing the new pole?"

    They haven't been back.  

    The neighbors are thinking about firewood, but it stinks too much.  Maybe carving?     A totem of our neighborhood?

three months

    A few minutes a day, usually in the morning, in that space of time between others leaving and my needing to...

    beside the hundred plus year old window, with it's wavy glass view, using the light that comes through it...

    with a cup of tea...

    the day's square is stitched.  

    Whatever else the day may bring, or not, there is comfort in knowing that these few minutes were spent.

    I really love this cloth, the softness, the lightness, the thin threads of color, all that it holds.

 

my life as a squirrel

    This huge black walnut is atop the slope across the street.  

    My neighbor, who became a good friend, lived under it for more than a decade.  I listened to her worry about the possibility of this tree falling on her house, watched her pick up the fallen husked nuts, and was startled every autumn by the LOUD sound inside the house when they dropped onto her rooftop from high above.  

    Every fall her house would be surrounded by them...and I didn't care.  Last summer, she moved (I won't go into my grief about that).  And now I want those fallen treasures to dye with.  There are new neighbors.  I have only had a few encounters with them so far.  During each of these meetings they have seemed very nice, and I, uh, well, I am not known for making good first impressions.  Without going into the details, let's just say I've done nothing to change my reputation.

    So, I would wait for them to go to work, then scurry across the street and search their sidewalk and easement for walnuts.  After a couple of weeks of this, I finally realized the tree was also above another house.  These neighbors are used to my dyeing experiments, fabric and wool draped around the yard and concoctions in jars or pots on the porch.  They were happy to have me take their walnuts away, though they did ask if I was coming to "trick or treat" as I approached their house with a big bowl.

    So I can stop looking like a mad woman walking slowly up and down in front of the new neighbors' house.  

    But, I'm sure they think I'm nuts.

the beekeeper's quilt

     For Nancy-

    This pile is for the "beekeeper's quilt", a pattern created by Tiny Owl Knits.  It consists of creating these little stuffed hexagon puffs that are then stitched together.  On Ravelry there are groups, patterns, swaps, and all manner of hexi-puff hoopla.  

    It's the perfect fit-in-my-pocket project for standing on the playground during recess.  The puffs are fun to make, each taking about half an hour to complete - if I'm paying attention.  Yes, some of mine have been reknit.  They're also a great way to use up all of that left over yarn from my sock making marathon a couple of years ago.  

    It takes 384 puffs to make a 3x4 foot quilt, there are 23 here.  Only 361 to go.